I feel the need to blog this morning/afternoon. It's been a bit of a doozie.
As I opened my coffee can this morning I was pretty disappointed to see that my coffee would not be it's usual black, but more of a muddy brown due to me only leaving about one scoop left and being too lazy to drag myself to the "super huge can't go in for just one thing" supermarket. Caffeine is caffeine right?
My usual cup usually spins me into super mode but today I have no idea what happened?!
I feel like the Hulk ready to throw things and smash my computer with my jumbo glass bottle of Topo Chico on my desk. My internet keeps going in and out, none of the photos I have been editing for DAYS look good once uploaded on my website and I have cried 3 times since 10 AM. (it's 2 now)
Ah, men. You have no idea!!!! I can't blame this on being a woman but there is something pumping through my veins this morning that make me feel like a crazy woman! (and it's not caffeine)
I recently drafted a blog post about will power after hearing a fun little Podcast by Stuff You Should Know about how will power works. It was probably a bit crazier than this one so I will continue here.
Lately, I have had none. I have been overloading myself with work, ideas, projects, etc., eating junk food like it's going to be ripped from my fingertips at a moments notice, eating chocolate like each little nugget has super healing powers and the more I eat, the better I will be, and just in general making some poor choices.
Will power has not existed in my world lately. I have been saying no to SOME things, which gives me a little boost at times. It's empowering to say no. It feels good to make a decision to put yourself first because sanity is important, right? I wouldn't have a clue. I haven't felt sane in the last few weeks!!!
This morning's will power is about walking away. In this specific instance, walking away from a project that is going no where, making me insanely crazy, causing tears of frustration, all for what? Did I walk away from my computer? No, I am still here.. I just shifted gears a little to vent to all of my (2) readers and will justify it by saying that I am adding a personal touch.
Please don't be scared.
Will power made me eat those dark chocolate covered acai berries. Acai is healthy! Dark chocolate is healthy! Done and done.
I also created a new word today. Virgonize!!! It's my version of OCD where I try to organize every part of my life. Sticky notes, writing down notes then organizing those notes, then making tabs, then making files on my computer with more files inside, and renaming things, and AHHHHHHHHHHHGGHH! It's endless!
Hi my name is Casey and I am a crazy Virgo.
Today, I am walking away from my project and researching ways to ween myself off caffeine.
Today, I will come home from the day job and do yoga to calm my soul.
Today, I will eat a healthy dinner that doesn't include the 3 C's: Chocolate, Cheetos, or Cheer (aka Vodka)
Today, I will contribute to my gratitude jar.
Today, I will not regret blogging my craziness publicly on the internet and accept that today is simply a bad day.
Today, I will take care of me.
Today, take care of you!